Apple Currency Conversion Chart
People who are lucky enough to actually own Apple stock may have paid attention to the fact that Apple released their Second Quarter Results today. In fact, even those not directly benefiting may have gotten word that they now effectively own the US Federal Reserve. You see, the US government no longer had enough currency to print the giant piles of cash-on-hand Apple has at their disposal. So, Apple simply called in their chips and, starting today, will be printing their own. Thus replacing the faces and common names we formerly called our currency.
In order to help with this transition, I have created this handy guide. Please feel free to share this. You may also copy and paste it into the iPhone Notes.app but, if you do, please use something other than Marker Felt. Here we go:
$100 bill – Is now to be commonly referred to as a Steve
$50 bill – To be commonly referred to as a Cook
$20 bill – To be commonly referred to as a Schiller
$3 coin – To be commonly referred to as a Woz
$1 bill – Now cancelled due to lack of usage and replaced by…
$.99 – To be commonly referred to as a Sucker and used only at the end of the round numbers above to drive purchasing. Don’t expect change.
(Note to our international readers, none of this is really true. The post is done in humor though, if you read the results, not far from the truth.)
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